Revealed in Nigeria; 69 NASTY unprintable thoughts of an “Expatriate” plus Expatriates Only Flats advertised.
2009 July 2
- Sellwhale (selfish) and Greedy
- Religious but Fetish
- Tolerant but Cowardly
- Damn Expensive
- 10% Brilliant, 90% Daft
- 90% Illiterate, 100% Daft
- Posh neighbourhood overlooking shanties
- 4 wheel drive vehicles on roads, probably the highest in the world.
- Infra-structurally deficient
- Leaderless, except for the invisible few
- More pen critics than readers
- Officially Generator dependent country
- Shopping malls, a tourist attraction
- Foreign companies in for what they can get out and not what they can put in.
- A haven of wastage and lack of maintenance
- Lawless
- Officially Corrupt
- Driver’s licence is cosmetic, not really required to lawfully drive
- A party beast of a nation
- Oil dependent, Oil importer.
- Self medicated nation
- Average man’s ambition; to become rich by all means.
- A nation that eats out with the majority fed by gutter side caters.
- 6 people on a commercial motor bike eye popping, 4 is rear, 3 is common.
- Houses/Flats rented with building still in progress
- Commercial buildings built accompanied by a generator house
- Motor rage
- Hissing
- Arrogance
- Church is a spiritual business.
- Health care is nil
- Roads? What roads? You mean pot holes!
- It rains; light and the internet are disconnected.
- National Television has a 25 year old news tune.
- American singer, Beyounce’s latest Album pirated for N200 ($1.4)
- State Policemen double as Private security staff to expatriates and the rich.
- Offering and receiving bribe is a norm.
- Public toilet, non-existent.
- Public defecation and urination in the open, therefore no need for importation of manure.
- Producer and importer of rice.
- Amputees commandeer a congested road junction and become traffic wardens.
- Flooded with fake Chinese products.
- Political wages Vs average wages is like comparing night and day.
- Addictive, you just keep coming back for more – fun or punishment or both.
- Those bloody mosquitoes.
- Conscienceless as opposed to No Conscience
- Polluted with empty water bottles, generator, too much book (too much academics), urine and shit.
- Huge unemployment
- Culturally under the weather.
- Believers in religious jingoism than in God (“it is well”)
- Hell on earth,
- Heaven on earth.
- Ignorant of human rights.
- Owner’s corner, where the “oga” (the boss) sits in the blinded side of the car.
- Feudal system very much alive.
- Slavery in kind, very much alive.
- An expatriate’s delight.
- An elected President may never emerge from the East.
- A preference for ethnic zoning over competence.
- An ingrained habit of spraying (a Nigerian coined phrase to describe vulgarity) at parties over giving to charities.
- Pride in academic, professional and chieftaincy titles.
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Master of acronyms – National Electric Power Authority (NEPA) also known asNever Expect Power Always. Power Holding Company of Nigeria (PHCN) also known as Please Hold Candle Now.
- An insane law of 2 years down payment for House rent (minus legal fees)
- Gigantic display of opulence in houses built with no means of access road.
- Power connected to newly built residential apartments is an afterthought.
- A preference to ad-hoc political agenda over political manifesto which is deemed unserious.
- Supremely gifted citizens at patching and managing.
- Naturally endowed with mineral resources, yet prefers importation.
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God forsaken? No. More of self infliction.
Copyright of JideSalu Diary – http://www.jidesalu.com
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Accommodation for Expatriates ONLY….a proof of Nigeria’s insanity. But I still love my country in spite of it all……..
Nigerian Guardian Newspaper – 29th June 2009 (yes 2009)
Apartheid in Nigeria?
OMG!!!!! Nigerians! Expatriates only? I guess the idea is that they have the money to pay. Sometimes Asian people do the same here, at least they are looking for their fellow people, not anyone else. That’s why i like them, they stick closer than white on rice.
There’s something about a Non-Nigerian criticizing Nigeria that’s not so funny…
Have a great weekend! Your baby’s comment about God telling him he’s hungry makes me crack up anytime i remember!:D
No. 22,25,30,40,41,42,44,47,50,53,56,57,61,63,65,67,68,69 = No 70
Nigeria what can I say, whilst I am not married and a self proclaimed career bachelor my love and continued tolerance of Nigeria and Nigerians is because of my vow to the nation during those everyday primary school assemblies singing the national anthem and making the pledge. The spirit of patriotism is still burning,,,the real test is when I have to live in Nigeria.
For better or worse Nigeria I shall not forsake you………:-)
Keep up the good work Jide.
In the Guardian Newspapers? We are misplacing our priority as a Nation! That is just crazy why would you put that in the papers are the Editors at sleep or not doing their jobs?
Expatriates only house? na wah oh…Naija!
those thoughts are spot on in most areas, n I’m not very happy about that…but, I’ll always rep naija positively n b proud of my roots…
na wa o ! oga gan! you can’t help but have a lovehate relationship with naija……..
Well he wants only oyinbo in his compound
The same way other landlords don’t want Ibos, ijebus, lawyers etc etc
Naija people sef
Hi
Are you sure you are describing Nigeria!! This is other than the oil just like Mozambique.
Take Care Diana