Take the Test: How Nigerian are you? Plus is she a “he” or a “she”?

When or if you do come across a Nigerian anywhere in the world, he or she always stands out.

Why?

There is a sort of arrogance that comes with being created a Nigerian? Rightfully so, with the amount and quality of resources the Almighty creator had made available to us as a nation. However, attached with this arrogance comes ignominy. Because I am Nigerian, why should I feel embarrassed to carry the Nigerian Green Passport for instance? Or why should I cringe when I hear my fellow Nigerians have a discussion in public?

Being Nigerian attracts the added responsibility of being labelled the GIANT of Africa. We are expected to represent anything good that comes from this resourceful continent, however, it is the exact opposite that we as a nation and a people exhibit.

I thought hard and long of this complexity. It is rather complex, you know. It can be so very easy, but yet, we connive to make it look extremely difficult to make simple choices on behalf of people that entrust their votes or trust in us.

So beckons the QUESTION; how can you tell if you are truly a Nigerian? What makes you a Nigerian?

Have you ever thought that the very people you spend your time aching over carry the same genes as you? Let me put it to you this way, ponder for a minute (as I hope to make you do) and ask yourself, what exactly are the values that these so called Nincompoops who govern our banks and our dear country have? Could it just be that you may have (unbeknown to you) the same traits and uncultured values they have? Don’t you doubt it until you take the Nigerian test.

All you are expected to do is be VERY HONEST with how you provide answers to the 20 questions as listed below. Every question has a score attached to it and at the end of it all, add up the scores and cross check with the score guide (also provided). With the score in hand, this will tell you how Nigerian you really are. Of course as a non- Nigerian, I will be too glad for you to go through this Nigerian ‘genetic’ questionnaire. You just never know, those out of this world traits you possess could be as a result of the ‘Nigerian in you’. Who knows?

Let me know your score at the end of it all, ok. Good. So, get a pen now and fire on….don’t worry it should be fun.

1. Is (was) your first choice for a holiday destination UK or U.S?
   
   1. YES (5%)
   2. May be (4%)
   3. I don’t know (3%)
   4. I will have to think about it (2%)
   5. N0 (0%)
2. Can you drive without bleeping your car horn for 15 minutes?
   
   1. YES (0%)
   2. I will have to think about it (2%)
   3. May be (3%)
   4. I don’t know (4%)
   5. N0 (5%)
3. I will rather ease myself on the side walk than risk looking for a public toilet?
   
   1. YES (5%)
   2. May be (4%)
   3. I don’t know (3%)
   4. I will have to think about it (2%)
   5. N0 (0%)
4. I find it difficult to say or write anything good about Nigeria?
   
   1. YES (5%)
   2. May be (4%)
   3. I don’t know (3%)
   4. I will have to think about it (2%)
   5. N0 (0%)
5. I will use my contacts to get things done.
   
   1. YES (5%)
   2. May be (4%)
   3. I don’t know (3%)
   4. I will have to think about it (2%)
   5. N0 (0%)
6. If I am (or could have been) of dual Nationality with Nigeria, I will not use my travelling Green Nigerian passport until I arrive in Nigeria.
   
   1. YES (5%)
   2. May be (4%)
   3. I don’t know (3%)
   4. I will have to think about it, it depends (2%)
   5. N0 (0%)
7. Rather than pay for an event, I will prefer a freebie.
   
   1. YES (5%)
   2. May be (4%)
   3. I don’t know (3%)
   4. I will have to think about it (2%)
   5. N0 (0%)
8. I do not like to be on the queue, it is a sheer waste of time.
   
   1. YES (5%)
   2. May be (4%)
   3. I don’t know (3%)
   4. I will have to think about it (2%)
   5. N0 (0%)
9. I will not mind a motorcade with a siren blaring to ease me through the traffic congestion.
   
   1. YES (5%)
   2. May be (4%)
   3. I don’t know (3%)
   4. I will have to think about it, it depends (2%)
   5. N0 (0%)
10. I would love to appear in OVATION magazine (Nigeria’s equivalent to Hello magazine).
    
    1. YES (5%)
    2. May be (4%)
    3. I don’t know (3%)
    4. I will have to think about it (2%)
    5. N0 (0%)
11. As long as my house is very big, I do not mind if the roads leading to it are good.
    
    1. YES (5%)
    2. May be (4%)
    3. I don’t know (3%)
    4. I will have to think about it (2%)
    5. N0 (0%)
12. I plan to give to charity; the problem is that I do not trust them enough.
    
    1. YES (5%)
    2. May be (4%)
    3. I don’t know (3%)
    4. I will have to think about it, it depends (2%)
    5. N0 (0%)
13. I will never get to engagements on time, because they never keep to time.
    
    1. YES (5%)
    2. May be (4%)
    3. I don’t know (3%)
    4. I will have to think about it, it depends (2%)
    5. N0 (0%)
14. I do not vote, because it will not make a difference.
    
    1. YES (5%)
    2. May be (4%)
    3. I don’t know (3%)
    4. I will have to think about it (2%)
    5. N0 (0%)
15. As a party guest, I present my gift to the celebrant by placing cash on the forehead of the celebrant on the dance floor. It is commonly referred to as “spraying”.
    
    1. YES (5%)
    2. May be (4%)
    3. I don’t know (3%)
    4. I will have to think about it (2%)
    5. N0 (0%)
16. I will do anything, legally or illegally to make money.
    
    1. YES (5%)
    2. May be (4%)
    3. I don’t know (3%)
    4. I will have to think about it (2%)
    5. N0 (0%)
17. I never want to become a Politician because they are all crooks.
    
    1. YES (0%)
    2. May be (2%)
    3. I don’t know (3%)
    4. I will have to think about it (4%)
    5. N0 (5%)
18. When I become a Politician, I will be very smart in all my dealings.
    
    1. YES (5%)
    2. May be (4%)
    3. I don’t know (3%)
    4. I will have to think about it, it depends (2%)
    5. N0 (0%)
19. I will feel offended if I am addressed at public functions simply as a “Mr” or “Mrs” if or when I have an academic or honourary doctorate degree or any other professional qualification.
    
    1. YES (5%)
    2. May be (4%)
    3. I don’t know (3%)
    4. I will have to think about it (2%)
    5. N0 (0%)
20. I will still go to church even if I have pressing matters to attend to; e.g wife is pregnant and could be in Labour.
    
    1. YES (5%)
    2. May be (4%)
    3. I don’t know (3%)
    4. I will have to think about it (2%)
    5. N0 (0%)

So how did it go, henh? What is your score. Make sure you add up before you check the score guide below….no cheating, ok. Be truthful to yourself.

So how Nigerian are you?

SCORE GUIDE: 100% – 40% (Somebody with typical critical Nigerian values)

39% – 21% (Somebody with devalued (not rebranded) Nigerian values)

20% – 8% (Somebody with a mixture of Foreign and Nigerian values)

7% – 5% (A foreigner or a detached Nigerian or a Nigerian with revamped values)

Your score will indicate if you would be any different from the Politicians or Bank CEOs if. Truthfully, the whole point of this exercise was for you to have a think before you open your mouth or get your pen to criticise. When you are in a position of power, only you would be able to tell how you would govern. It will definitely be based on your values as highlighted by your score.

God bless and THANK YOU FOR TAKING PART. Now time to share your thoughts with the world.

Just another PONDER:

Caster Semenya

A “he” or a “she” as 18-year-old Caster Semenya, a black South African wins 800m race at IAAF amidst gender confusion.

I know it’s confusing, but I never saw any official complaint during the days of the bulky Russians and East Germans. Or would that be taking the discussion to another level? Ok, there was the Indian runner Santhi Soundarajan and the famous case of German high jumper Dora Ratjen, who won gold at the Olympics here in Berlin in 1936 but was later revealed to be a chap named Hermann.

Dora Ratjen

However, we need to remember that the Ratjen was forced to conceal his gender by the Nazi government and had been born and raised a man which makes the comparison ridiculous.

I pray it is resolved soonest so that the young and talented 18 year old from Limpopo province can get on with life.