RockShock Diaries – 26th November 2010

"Ah, I dey laugh o"

Mother of all laughter

Former President, Olusegun Obasanjo was reported to have had a good laugh when approached by reporters while leaving the council chambers of the presidential villa where he had, alongside three other former heads of state, attended the National Council of State meeting. I really almost did not believe it  when he was reported to be initially reluctant to respond to questions from journalists on his former deputy’s chances at the polls. But I trust OBJ to always come out with a headline grabbing response similar to the famous “I dey kampe”. This time, he matched he his previous statement. Unable to avoid the persistent and headline hungry journalists, he did not disappoint when he  comically cleared his nose with his inhaler for a long while before replying in pidgin English: “ah, I dey laugh o!” That could turn out to be the mother of all laughter.

 

Latest Governor elect Rauf Aregbesola

The lion of Bourdillon strikes again

The world now knows that a former Lagos state Commissioner for works Rauf Adesoji Aregbesola is the latest Governor ordered to be sworn in by an Appeal court. The rebranded Action Congress of Nigeria party has the former Lagos state Governor, the man who is widely referred to as the LION OF BOURDILLON to thank. Why? Well, this guy is said to have persistently financially encouraged the party’s gubernatorial candidates since 2007. Whether you loathe him or not, this man has staying power and has obviously infected the party. ACN party can now boast of 4 Governors – Lagos, Ekiti, Edo and Osun. Who says it’s not over until the fat lady sings”, in this case, I am not in a position to tell you who this fat lady is.

 

Snow snow Britain

Snow Snow Britain

There is so much talk about the Big Freeze hitting Britain at this time of the year. Tell me, what is the big deal about the weather conditions at this time of the year? Of course it’s winter and it should be cold. Meanwhile, I can tell you that the Sun has come to stay here. It is BOILING and I mean BOILING HOT in Lagos…..what a wonderful world we live in.

 

The RockShock Diaries – 25th November 2010

* It’s one month to Christmas today. If you are not aware, today is the 25th of November and you would not say there is anything special a whole nation is looking forward to in a month’s time. Christmas decorations have been up in Europe since October, with shops and malls draped in the customary red and white colours of the invisible Santa. Here in Lagos, I was so excited to see a local TV station advertised Santa coming to a playground for a token gate fee of N500 (£2). As much as I cringed as to the thoughts of what a Nigerian Santa would pick out of his goody bag as presents, I equally could not hide my excitement for the many children that would experience Santa – however fake he may turn out to be – for the first time ever.

* Oh, how I so much love Nigeria. No wonder it was once voted the happiest country on earth, to live in. However contradictory it may sound, so many reasons can be pulled out from Santa’s goody bag to support this, somewhat, over exaggerated assertion. Take for instance the forth coming National elections – mind you, National, not village elections. Earlier dates were released for the election time table sometime ago, then they were withdrawn until Tuesday evening when I got a “234Next.com” breaking news alert announcing the new April 2011 dates. It is ONLY in Nigeria that adequate preparations are yet to be made for major national event which is only 5 months away. Oh, just in case you are not aware, the elections due in April is yet to have an electoral register, yet some – how much is it again? – some billions of Naira have been air marked for this exercise. I, never, however selfish it may sound, let it bother me, because I have come to understand that our “make-up”, no matter how exposed or academically horizontal we are, just does not flow with adequate preparations or getting things right at the right time in Nigeria. Good luck to Nigeria is all I can say.

*Blackberry with all its battery faults has its many benefits. One of such is to speed alert BB friends of happenings at locations especially during the rush hours. I received broadcast messages two days ago warning me about hoodlums along Fadeyi with sporadic police shootings for me to avoid the area. Another was a warning to be wary of Policemen who stop and request to get into your car because it is a kidnap device. As much as I found them hilarious, I, will not, ignore. Period.

* O.M.G – ….do not tell me it is freezing out there as friends in England, America and Qatar constantly remind me, with their BB updates. Mehn, it is boiling over here in Lagos and I mean boiling hot. Some months ago, I suddenly realised the dramatic change in my complexion. It was from then therein, I decided to take a major decision to keep away, as much as possible from the powerful Sun rays of Lagos. Can you imagine, even the Sun in Lagos has a Swagger about it.

Elegushi Whale

* Finally, did you guys here about the Whale, well, I wouldn’t quite append the word “killer” to it because this whale got killed. What happened was that, the dead whale which floated ashore Elegushi beach to the delight of the local residents around the beach, majority of who stay sheltered in sheds, suddenly found Christmas come early. It was like turkey in disguise of a whale. Yes, imagine it. Every Okada rider came out with machetes in queue to have a pound of the flesh. And within hours, the whale was transformed into a carcass, with only bones to view. The whale whose time of death could not be certified, with its powerful stench according to my mole did not deter the numerous whale hunters. Did I hear you say, what a whale to go….yuk…