Marriage, Mistress and her Prayers….

Bayo sent this epistle to me by email (copy right respected) with a simple question; WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Read on and I will tell you all what I really , really think ……

I don’t know why wives bellyache about their husbands taking off with their mistresses. If they know how much work those girls do to keep other people’s properties, the wives would keep quiet. Yes, it’s tough being a wife but by Jove it’s tougher being a mistress. Keeping what’s not yours requires a lot of gut and staying power.

It’s also not a business for cowards. It’s not a venture for those who don’t want to sweat. It’s tension soaked, energy- sapping, emotional and spiritual – intensive business. And the big players, know the stakes. That’s why when they reap the fruits of their labour, we all can’t help but gape. So when next you open a soft – sell magazine and see some beautiful 35-year-old opening up about her life and business in the oil sector, don’t think she got there by generally doing what you do. There’s a lot of hard work involved in being a successful enviable mistress of the right guy. Emphasis on the right guy. You think you go to church? Mistresses go to churches. They move from one miracle – distributing church to the other. They sleep on mountains for days. They fast move and longer than wives. For them, being a mistress is a major investment that must be guarded jealously, watered intensely and watched over with every drop of blood.

Wives have tendencies to relax and take their investments for granted. Not mistresses. The goose that lays the golden eggs must be put in a golden cage. I remember vividly my experience in the waiting room of a Moroccan massage parlour last year. I was waiting for my turn when some of the attendants of the establishment brought out all kinds of ‘gadgets’ to keep a man’s attention. Oh boy, it was one long sex education, the kind you can find only when big girls are teaching one another survival tricks.

There was this ointment (or was it a cream?) that was offered me for N5,000. It’s job? It’ll keep the man asking for more. Just rub it down below and the man will go to heaven and return as many times as he wants. It was a small jar. The big jar was N10,000. While I was trying to make up my mind if I wanted to try the cream or even if I had the energy to send someone to heaven more than once, the girls brought out this gigantic bottle. You need your two hands to carry it and the liquid content cost N25,000.

The bottle, according to the girls, had been buried in the ground for one whole year, yes 12 months. For efficacy. It’s strictly for feminine use. It smells great and it is supposed to do greater things for your man in your bed. I bet you are dying to know which one I bought. I’m not telling. The lesson is mistresses invest in their paraphernalia of office and I saw a few things that day. Stuffs were bought for good money too. Just think about it.

I’m sure you have heard or read stories of undergraduates and 25-year-olds ending up in the kind of wealth you and I only dream of. I’m sure you have also wondered where those girls got their ‘heads’ from and why yours is not fetching you money or even love. But what are you doing about it? You think you can just wish for a shop in Ikoyi, a duplex in Victoria Island and summer holiday in Barbados and they all fall in your pretty laps? Not on your dreaming life. You work for it, girl. That’s why those smart ones outside can hold their sugar daddies. That’s also why some wives are having more fun than the others.

Have you had white fast this year and for how many days?

You are eating like food’s going out of fashion while your husband’s girlfriend is fasting her waist away. She’s losing waist’ and you are gaining it. She’s locked up somewhere in one white-garment church doing cross-road prayers and you are nagging about ‘aso-ebi’? Jazz don catch you, baby. You don’t even know what cross-road prayer is? I’ll bail you out.

Cross-road prayer is one where you lock up yourself for a day, two days or for as long as you can to pray without talking to anybody. You just keep praying, talking only to God until He does it.

Adejoke (you don’t think that’s her real name, do you?) just finished her seven-day white fast. Her prayer point? Her politician boyfriend just bought her a Honda Element and she wants to park it in front of a befitting house in Maitama Abuja. She believes if she asks God and does as her prophet decrees, it’d be done. If she gets it, what would you think? It’s crazy, isn’t it?

There are other spiritual exercises like being on a prayer mountain for days so a man can keep doing what you want him to do even when you are not legally married to him. Frightening but true.

Some of these smart girls know all the prayer mountains from Ede to Oke Erinmo to Kaduna. And they go there for prayers. Now, I’m not saying that religious leaders aid and abet untoward things; I’m just concerned that wives shouldn’t think it’s okay to just assume that husbands are forever. No, they are not. There are too many girls out there who want your man, probably more than you do. They are working harder than you think. I also learnt that there are prayers to bring down the holy books and that takes five to seven for ‘men of God’ to do. If you have only daughters for your husband and he has assured you that ‘nothing spoil’, don’t take anything for granted.

In fact, don’t believe him or rest on your oars. His girlfriends are working day and night to get him an heir. I just found out that there’s a hospital in Kuwait where there are specialists who help to fix sex of a baby with appreciable success rate. Yes, Kuwait, these girls will go anywhere to please your man and you are there taking him for granted. Kuwait is where she’d take him for the next summer and she’d get the right male chromosomes out of him to consolidate her hold in your business.

And the rain of twins everywhere? Have you wondered if God just suddenly opened the windows of heaven for twins to be born in Nigeria? No. Fertility drugs are here to the rescue. And while wives are ready to continue to ‘believe God’ for the fruit of the womb, the mistresses are going through the pain of injecting themselves with fertility stuff and monitoring every change in their bodies to produce that fruit of the womb.

So what have we learnt? Life, marriage is a cut throat business where he who endures wins gold or dies at the finishing line ………… ……… ……… ……… …

Its hard work being a mistress an even harder to be a wife if you have this to contend with.

Hmmnnnnn… with a long breathless sigh.

My reality, not yours, is that, this is the world we live in. There is certainly enough to go round if you look in the right places.I will address this matter to the;THE MISTRESS,



To the Mistress first – it is definitely not too late. You think you have been left hanging. Stop it right now, and desist from having such deplorable thought.

You may think, age is not on your side, but I can tell you that there is definitely someone out there for you. That is if you are the believing one.

For you to go through the troubles of cross-fire, or is it cross-road prayer, expensive ointment, fasting and what have you, why not spend the time and resources on getting ‘your’ man, and not someone else’s?

To the Wife – you are married right. Happily or what? Whatever the case, you just may never realise how lucky you may have been to be in a marriage until you experience the other side of been ‘alone’.

I have been told by many single friends that it is not pretty at all. It is like, …you are walking naked with all eyes on you. The single lady told me that she “is always self conscious of everything.”

Also, she is scared of talking to her friends husbands or steady partners for the fear that they may think she is a husband snatcher. The feeling is terrible and to think that you are working very hard to join this un-fancied group.

So why are you taking your hubby for granted? For crying out loud, why? You may have been warned several times, however, if care is not taken, it just might be too late for you. You are warned.

Lastly, the Husbands – and I will be taking my own advice here. You may think you are having fun. You may think, you have the right to fcuk around because you are related to ‘Solomon in the bible.’ You may also think that there is no repercussion, but let me tell you one thing guys, as you may not want to risk using your flash drive on any laptop for fear of  contaminating it with virus, the same goes with the risk of sleeping around.

The risk of also having a mistress together with a wife is just time and enzyme consuming. I can assure you, you can spend the same time investing in a course that will aid you in leaving a lasting legacy long after you depart mother earth.

I doubt if Dr Martin Luther King had any woman problems in his life time? He may have, I just don’t get to read about it.

Nelson Mandela too had 2 wives prior. Has it ever been a big deal?

These two guys amongst others have left a legacy that will be long remembered for centuries to come.

Guys, let us embrace a problem and spend our precious time looking for a solution.

This is what I think Bayo.

Over to you.

Thanks for stopping by. Another thing to think about.

God bless you.


6 Comments Add yours

  1. CanDoBadByMyself says:

    Some men are going to cheat on their wives, no matter how beautiful, dutiful or hardworking their wives are. We have seen this all over the world where beautiful women suffer privately and publicly because their husband is running around with his girlfriend of the month. Of course, ALL married people — men and women — should continuously work at being married, taking care of themselves, their home and their minds. But for a believing woman (of any faith), she should not tolerate an adulterer. Imagine if you just flirted with another man, or simply spoke well of a neighbor or co-worker who was of the opposite sex. Your husband would have a coniption, get angry and who knows what else. This foolishness of creams, prayers, and potions to keep a man is just that — foolishness. The only prayer an adulteress should be making is one of forgiveness. Most men “stray” because some woman is foolish enough to believe the man’s lies and/or she is looking for some rich man to take care of her.


  2. isitjustme says:

    mscheew…is that the post for today? I’m quite irritated because I was expecting gist about life in naija and any drama with whatever househelp you’re with…only to be disappointed. I’m not irritated bcos I was a mistress or currently one…quite the contrary. I’ve never been and never will I dedicate a post to them. There’s no comparison btw them and a wife, but whatever this post was supposed to serve didn’t do that for me. Pls let us know when you have proper entertainment info!!!


    1. babajidesalu says:


      Should I apologise for this post? Not in the slightest.

      I have never taken a vow to suggest that every post would be for all, on the contrary, this ‘condemned’ post would have served as a reminder to many who were on the verge of becoming a mistress, who had become a mistress, a husband who is or was on the verge of having a mistress and to many wives out there who took or are taking their husbands for granted.

      So this post is not only for you.

      “Is it just me” that felt irritated by your comment?

      And by the way, I am not in anyway an entertainer and life in Nigeria is much more than what you think – househelp drama, etc


  3. Angela says:

    This woman (and others like her) are undoubtedly the saddest creatures walking the face of the earth.


  4. Gerard Onochie says:

    “Cross-road prayer is one where you lock up yourself for a day, two days or for as long as you can to pray without talking to anybody. You just keep praying, talking only to God until He does it.”

    Incredible statement above but a complete folly and a disguise. Unless the God I know spiritually has changed or being overthrown, I cannot believe he will participate in such doomed activities.

    Everyone is open to temptation but we can also reduce the amount of time we succombe to temptation. These mistresses and their antics is a worldwide cancer but in the Nigerian context in takes a slightly more sinister twist.
    My advice to mistresses is that are you really happy in all the worldly posessions you aquire only in later in life unless you repent SUFFER THE LOSSES OF YOUR SOULS WHICH NO AMOUNT OF MONEY CAN COMPENSATE FOR.

    To the husbands why get married in the first place. Better to be a playboy for life than cause grief to your wife and family. In the end most men who continue with having affiar and keeping mistresses unles they repent their later life is a one of misery and hopelessness.

    To the wives, dont let yourself go and get too comfortable in your marriage. You should make every effort for your husband to desire you and see that you are his greatest asset and investment which either breaks him or makes him.

    Anyway Jide another interesting blog..keep up the good work. Have great sunday and week ahead. 🙂


  5. Allen Taylor says:

    Nice writing. You are on my RSS reader now so I can read more from you down the road.

    Allen Taylor


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