Jide Salu’s Rockshock

Jide Salu’s

R O C K S H O C K

ThisDay’s style in their special inaugural edition had Nigeria’s first family emblazoned on its cover page. Meet the Jonathan’s was the introduction. Patience, the first lady had this to say: ‘in acting or performance, you act or mimic someone’s style or manner of speaking…..(and……) and, because I speak straight from the my heart, it comes naturally.’ You can say that again 1st lady. Humbrella, humbrella.

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Former Ogun stateGovernor, Gbenga Daniel in a text message denied his trip to London was to escape being arrested by EFCC. His exclamation- ‘Arrest, for what?’ Osoba (his predecessor) did not attend my handover in 2003, he travelled to go and rest. What is the problem? Ex- Gurvee, the actual problem is that you jumped gun in selecting your destination of rest, when there was an otherwise arrangement.

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Diezani Alison-Madueke, Minister of Petroleum Resources, with her beauty, brains and eloquence has seen a group tagged IFAGEN – Initiative For The Actualisation of Gender Equality in Nigeria – place an advertorial in a national news paper pleading on her behalf, with Patience, Dame Patience, the first lady to ensure her reappointment. If there was any such thing as a tall order, this would be it. The Dame? Patience with Alison? She must be in wonderland!

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Senator Iroegbu had a filled day when she interviewed two Imo state female politicians at war – PDP Kema Chikwe, former Ambassador and Minister of Aviation and ex-broadcaster, PDP defected APGA Senator Chris Anyanwu.Read what Kema said: ‘ I beat Chris in five out of nine LGAs.’ Now read Chris’s colourful reply: ‘She is a shameless rigging machine. She thought it was like the old days when they used to do those things that way. At her age she has to grow up because she is a woman and thinks like a woman but the job she seeks is for a thinker, not for a street woman.’ Hmmmmnnnn, women thinkers at war huh?

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Chief Emeka Anyaoku, former Secretary-General, Commonwealth had a brainwave, while delivering Bells University of Technology, Ofa, 3rd Eminent Persons lecture, titled “Nigeria in a Globalising World” . He had this to say: ‘…and if I have my way, Nigeria will undergo a constitution amendment that will see the President running a single term of six years and the governors five. Wait a minute Chief, thank you, but no thank you sir. Thank God you will not be having your way. 6 years of ……(fill in the blank).

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Richard Dannatt, former head of the British Army has noted parallels with the Libyan uprise with the campaign in Iraq when US-led forces ousted Sadam in 2003, but then faced a bloody insurgency. British foreign secretary William Haque only went on to dismiss his observation. Read this: ‘It’s very different from Iraq because of course in the case of Iraq there were very large number of ground forces deployed from western nations.’ Really? What exactly does “very large numbers” mean? Oh, I get it….it’s a numbers game. Ok then. It means the war in Libya hasn’t even started. Na wa o!

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In an article submitted to a national newspaper with the title – Who’s Qualified to be an SGF? The writer opined his criteria – read on: ‘Any person who seeks to bear such an office must possess sterling, inspiring, leadership credentials, like Ceaser’s wife, such a person must have lived above suspicion and beyond reproach.’ Wait a minute! All these qualities for a public holder in Nigeria? You must be joking!


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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Jaycee (E.A) says:

    It’s funny what the former secretary-general, commonwealth said. Lol @ six years…and @ your response.

    Those list of qualities for a public holder read like a joke, however I’m hoping that the writer expatiated.

    Like

  2. Gerard Onochie says:

    Nice one Jide. You sef don turn tabloid…lol. Only joking very interesting stories. Keep up the good work.

    Like

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